Starved
by Ningensmingen
Summary: Suzaku finds a way to break the geass...but is it worth it? Schneizel/Suzaku. Language.


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Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass. Srsbsns

**Warnings: Suzaku/Schneizel (aka two hot, clearly gay men), some spoilers but not that much. (I find it very difficult to judge spoilers once I'm done with something though, so if you see any eye-burning spoilering just let me know in a review and I'll fix it.) Shounen-ai sort of kind of, some ~sex toys~ and mostly implication.**

"What are you doing to your body, Suzaku?"  
Cecile was bent over him in a medical ward. His shirt was gone and he was covered in bruises and scratches from the previous battle.  
"I'm not doing anything to my body. Why would you think such a thing?" Suzaku smiled, tilting his head back a bit. Whenever he had to do that, it irritated him. Smiling…why should he?  
In reality, he was.  
His one true wish: death, could not be granted with quickly moving attacks or stabbing himself, not since Zero's geass was cast upon him. Zero the bastard, who had decided to make him suffer not once, not twice, but forever.  
Suzaku had never had any intention of following these "orders", absolutely none—maybe only because they were orders from Zero, maybe because he actually wanted to die. Yet after trying so many times to kill himself, to hurt himself, to die, he had finally come to the conclusion that there was only one way.  
He would have to starve himself, as he had been doing so for about six weeks now.  
It was incredibly painful, yet Suzaku felt some sort of gratification in it. He would be able to break the geass, though not quite by the best, most convenient of ways. But he could.  
"You're starving yourself, aren't you?" Cecile had a look of genuine worry on her face, placing her small hand to his forehead to check his temperature for about the 50th time in ten minutes.  
"I am not." Suzaku could not keep up his additude, and so he was flat.  
"Why yes, quite clearly you are not, Suzaku," A new voice entered the conversation. It was Prince Schneizel himself.  
"Oh my!" Cecile got up and bowed a bit, gesturing for him to take the chair she was previously in.  
"It is fine, Cecile." Schneizel smiled and came over to the side of the bed. "Even though an entire feast is open to you every night, Suzaku," he spoke as flatly or flatter than Suzaku, yet his eyes were slightly warm, "You are so obviously _not starving_." He brushes his hand over Suzaku's extremely prominent ribs sarcastically, as if to say 'what a sore lie'.  
"Asians have always been smaller than Britannians, Your Highness." Suzaku's facial expressions had always betrayed him, but not so sorely as this. He just looked stupid.  
"Ah, yes, I suppose so." Schneizel was still being annoyingly sarcastic, irritatingly flat, most certainly pushing Suzaku's buttons on purpose. "Then, if you are _obviously not starving_, you shall return to your duties at once."  
"Yes, Your Highness." But it was too late, Schneizel had already left the room.  
"But…"  
"I cannot disobey His Highness's orders, Cecile." He pulled the shirt over his head and walked out of the infirmary only to walk directly in to a certain prince who was wandering about, or possibly _waiting _for this to happen, and practically fell over. No, he _did_ fall over, but he never hit the ground. He ended up in the second prince's arms for five hideous seconds before the man put him down, _smiling_.  
_Why do you do that to me, you bastard?  
_"Thank you, Your Highnes. This was all my fault." Suzaku bowed and was about to go on his way when Schneizel replied;  
"Obviously _not_ starving."  
"I am fine, Your Highness." Suzaku headed on his way and Schneizel watched him go silently.

-------

When Suzaku returned to his quarters—which were actually quite nice now that he was out of the infantry—he sighed and flunked down on the bed. As if getting his ass kicked by some purist gang when he went outside the gates today wasn't enough, then Schneizel had to visit him in the medical ward and of course to top it all off he had to walk _directly_ in to the prince and then _FALL OVER._ Nothing says "big strong knight" like that.

Suzaku cast a glance at the building pile of schoolwork on his bed. Being a knight of rounds was a very difficult duty on its own, but being a knight of rounds as well as a full time student was even worse. The only thing that kept his grades up was the military service credit. Suzaku was supposed to be doing his schoolwork, but he wasn't up to it. Instead, he fell asleep, or more like victim to his nightmares, with the door wide open.

---

"Suzaku?"  
Suzaku shot up from his sleep, looking around. "Um, wha--?" The second prince himself was standing in his room. Why the hell does he _do _that? He almost shook his head, but he caught himself and stood up, bowing. "My apologies, Your Highness."  
"And what are you apologizing for?" Schneizel raised an eyebrow. "I am the intruder here."  
"Y…erm…if you will pardon my asking, Your Highness, why did you come in?"  
"You were screaming."  
"Um…oh." Suzaku now realized that he was drenched in sweat. _Oh god, I will never live this down…  
_"You appear to have been dreaming."  
"Erm, thank you, Your Ma—Your Highness."  
"Did you almost call me Your Majesty?" Schneizel laughed slightly.  
"My apologies, Sir."  
"Mmm, yes." Schneizel walked out of the room as if nothing had happened.

---

Suzaku walked in to the scientific development area, also where Lancelot was kept. Lloyd had called him over saying it was an emergency or something. He didn't seem very urgent.  
"Oh, Suzaku." Lloyd looked up from his computer, holding a cup of coffee. "There's a huge terrorist attack going on right now in the ghetto, Chinese Federation's involved too."  
"How can you be so nonchalant about that?" He gave Lloyd an accusing look. Really, how _could_ anyone be _that_ neutral?  
Lloyd had clearly taken offense, as he had simply spun around to the other side of the desk, going back to coding and coffee without a word, but the fact that he was actually _pouting_ was undeniable obvious. What a child.  
"He just hides his feelings, that's all." Cecile smiled and they headed down to where the Lancelot was kept.  
"Don't hurt my baby!" Lloyd called after him. Suzaku was fairly certain he meant the Lancelot, but there was a seed of doubt in the back of his mind, not helped when Cecile giggled.

---

The battle was raging. All around him, angry, distressed citizens, foot soldiers, Chinese warriors. Everyone seemed to be there. _So many casualties…_ Suzaku couldn't keep track of them all, or maybe he didn't want to. Either way, he could not tell how many had died.  
But he knew it was a lot. He knew that there were thousands of bodies…so many bodies. So many people that would never return home.  
Yet he did not have time for mourning them all as of yet. The battle was still going on. His hands were practically white from holding on to his steering mechanisms so tightly, his legs ached like no tomorrow, yet of course this was his duty. His duty came with pain. Life was just a bitch like that.  
His physical pain had never been _this_ terrible since he was shot, though. Maybe he had just gotten too used to a cushy life…  
The navigational screen was beeping now, drawing his attention away from his thoughts. There was just one knightmare left…the Guren.

---

They had won the battle, but it truly was not without casualty. So why were people celebrating? Suzaku looked around the room he was in, the knights and pilots laughing and jumping for joy and drinking and dancing. It was disgusting.  
He was sitting on a stool in the corner, arms crossed, back pressed against the wall. He, personally, was _absolutely not_ celebrating the death of thousands.  
"Hey, Suzaku!" Someone shoved a mug in his face. He couldn't tell what was in it but it smelled _disgusting.  
_"I don't drink." _More like 'I'm not a pig.'  
_"Don't be a girl, Suzaku!"  
"Oi!" One of the female pilots in the room shouted at whoever threw that insult.  
"Yeah yeah Sasha, we know you're a feminazi!" Someone else in the crowd.  
"Asshole!"  
Suzaku decided to take this fight to his advantage and moved out of his corner, heading for the door. When he was about midway through the huge room, someone threw a mug at the back of his head at a _very_ large speed. Next thing he knew his vision was going spotted and he was holding on to something soft. Someone was talking and everyone shut up.  
"…shall be reported…"  
"…Suzaku…"  
"…whore…"  
"…never done that for anyone…"  
"Quiet."

Suzaku could not catch any more of the discussion before he passed out.

-----

He was on his own bed this time, with an ice pack on his forehead, in _Schneizel's coat._ Holy shit, he was in the coat of the second prince himself. _And he had bled all over it.  
_"My life is completely over..." Suzaku shook his head and sighed. Then he noticed a note on the wall.  
All it said was 'whenever you get up'. He assumed that it was from Schneizel, and got up, putting on a fresh set of clothes and wondering whether he should bring the jacket or not.  
_It's not like the entire world doesn't know now, anyways…_ He sighed and picked up the jacket, then went out of his room and headed for prince Schneizel's office. Nobody looked at him on the way—and if they saw him they looked away as soon as they did. Suzaku could picture all of the new "nicknames" he would get.  
'_Japanese ho'  
_'_11 pussy'  
_'"_Big strong knight" '  
_

Sighing as he came to the door he was after, he was just about to knock when a brown haired man (or woman, he couldn't really tell, but they were in a male uniform) opened the door. The man almost looked jealous, or even a little protective.  
"Thank you." Suzaku nodded and the person went away, shooting a catty glance back. Schneizel beckoned for him to take a seat.  
"Ah, I see you have my jacket. Thank you for bringing it." Schneizel nodded, and Suzaku gave him the rather red jacket.  
"So, why I called you here, Suzaku," He set down the jacket on the floor next to his chair without even looking at it. "You are getting a promotion."  
"A promo—a promotion?"  
"More a less. One of our upper knights has left us, so everyone is moving up a rank. You are now a knight of six."  
"Y-Your Highness, thank you."  
"Why are you thanking me?" Schneizel put his head on the top of his hand, leaning forward slightly.  
"I…um…" Suzaku really was not good with prince Schneizel at all.  
"You may go." The man waved a hand and Suzaku headed for the door.  
"One more thing, Suzaku,"  
Suzaku turned around. "Yes, sir?"  
"Do you have a reason to live?"  
"Should I, Your Highness?"  
"I could give you one…" Schneizel sighed slightly, and Suzaku could not keep the look of surprise off his face.  
"Erm…what?"  
"Oh, nothing. You may go."

---

"Hey Suzaku, look at this!" Gino was playfully holding up a strip of potato from a paper box. The three of them had gone out to the city today, or at least, Gino wanted to, Anya just kind of walked along with them, and Suzaku was essentially tied to Gino's wrist. "They call it a chip here, it's really weird."  
"Yes Gino, I know." Suzaku shifted on the gum covered park bench, trying not to smell the disgusting greasiness that was french-fries, which was quite hard when you were sitting next to them.  
"Do you want one?" Gino held out the box to him.  
"Uh, no thanks. I'm not a fan of fries…"  
"Ahaha! Suzaku, you eat like a girl!" Gino laughed, almost dropping his box.  
"No I don't…"  
"I can't eat this! I can't eat that!" Gino imitated a high pitched, annoying voice and made a puppy face, and was beginning to royally tick Suzaku off.  
"Would you shut the hell up?" Suzaku glared at Gino with his usual ice stare and he shut up.

---

It had been two weeks since Schneizel's "offer", and Suzaku had heard no actual word from Schneizel. He kept on getting anonymous blackmail, but it was all the usual—name calling, death threats, etc. Nobels could actually be pretty retarded no matter the schooling they got. He was actually happy Schneizel wasn't trying to pursue him further, because Suzaku didn't want to let himself get hurt again.

_Which is why I am doing this…_ He sighed, brushing his hand over his chest. Did he really have a reason? Really? Was he doing what he was supposed to do according to Zero? Suzaku narrowed his eyes at the thought. If he was falling in to a trap…

_No._

He opened the door to his room, only to step on a new pile of mail. He picked it up, just for amusement. One stood out among all the letters addressed to "Whore" and "Pussy". It just said "Suzaku".  
He felt rather compelled to open it, and so he did. All it said was "10PM ask Kannon where the room is" and was signed by Schneizel.  
"_WHAT?_" Suzaku dropped the letter in shock. Schneizel actually expected him to do that?  
Seriously? Seriously expected him to be his bitch, to be on call like that?  
No. Fucking. Way.  
Suzaku ripped up the note and threw it away. He had enough problems, he didn't really need a prince to try and have sex with him.  
At around 9:30, his phone rang. He opened it to find a text that only said  
"Don't forget."  
He was about to text him back with a long stream of obscenities, but then realized he would like to keep his job for just a little bit longer. Might be nice to die with honors.  
It was 10:50 when someone knocked on his door. Suzaku opened it and there stood Schneizel, complete with some handcuffs and a very evil look.  
"Hello there, Suzaku!"  
"Oh my god."  
"You kept me waiting for a very long time indeed, Suzaku…" Schneizel fastened one side of the handcuffs to himself and another to Suzaku before there was time to struggle.  
"Ye…er…uh…um…"  
"Are you going to stand a prince up, Suzaku?"  
"Um…"  
"Well then."  
Schneizel dragged him out of the room. Luckily, no one appeared to be out tonight, so what little of Suzaku's dignity that was left was spared. Until they reached a bedroom and the brown haired man (woman?) opened the door. If looks could kill, Suzaku would have been dead. Well, if he didn't have the geass cast on him.  
"Kannon, you may take the night off." Schneizel made a gesture and Kannon walked out stiffly.  
Schneizel led Suzaku over to an expensive couch, locking the door on the way. Then he pulled out a key and unlocked the handcuffs, eyeing Suzaku.  
"Um, so, Your Highness…"  
"Just Schneizel tonight please."  
"Alright…Schneizel, why did you bring me here?"  
"I think you need a reason to live, Suzaku."  
"Your Highness—Schneizel. I have one."  
"And it is?"  
"Princess Euphemia."  
"She is no longer your reason to live, Suzaku." Schneizel gently stroked Suzaku's cheek. "She is your reason to die."  
"W-what?"  
"Don't lie, Suzaku."

---

Suzaku had to admit, Schneizel was extremely good at charming people. It had been two days since that night and all that filled his head was the blonde prince. He actually knew what it felt like to be addicted now.  
Wait.  
Addicted?  
Suzaku stopped himself right there. He was _not _addicted. At all.  
Was he?

---

**TWO MONTHS LATER…**

"Suzaku."  
Suzaku opened his eyes to find that he was not on his own bed. He was, in fact, on prince Schneizel's bed. Why was he—oh, right.  
"Mmm, yes?"  
Suzaku realized that his shirt was completely gone _as well as_ the bandage he was using for some cuts he had on his chest.  
Schneizel touched his chest lightly. "Stop this, Suzaku. You are going to die from it."  
Schneizel was right. Suzaku was dangerously thin now, to a point where he had to take a break from piloting the Lancelot.  
"I am not…"  
"That was not a request, Suzaku. That was an order."  
"But I…"  
"You have a reason to live, do you not?"  
"Yes, sir." Suzaku was still incredibly tired, and he almost fell back asleep until Schneizel dragged him out of bed and called for breakfast to be brought up. He did not ask for a Britannian breakfast, however, instead selecting Japanese food for Suzaku, who had not had food of his native country in over five years.  
"Suzaku, I have a question."  
"Yes?"  
"What is natto?"  
Suzaku laughed a bit. "I assure you, you do not want to try it."

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Comments and critique are ~loved~

Also, this took all fucking day to write. XD Thank god for sick daaaaays.


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